Never Get Caught With Your Pants Down

Admittance is the 1st step. i definitely don't belong drinking. I am still looking forward to the day when i will truly learn this lesson for what its worth. The sad part of this is that i was doing so good going over a year sober but certain aspects and pitfalls in my life have lead me directly to the bottle and it seems like their is no turning back. it seems like my only absolute for this is moderation and consideration which i am proud of because i have been doing well with it so far but like everything else in my life as in the words of Nick "Daddy" Friday: "when it's up it's up, and when it's down it's down, and when it's only half way up it's only half way down". which brings me to the details of last night which as you guessed it, started out with a bottle. A whole bottle, as a matter of fact, two whole bottles, one for me and one for slim dogg. now im not going to go into the details of how what and where with these bottles in the smarts of not incriminating myself or others but just know that we got to the club toast, well i at least got to the club toast, smh.that aside it was a regular club night with one and half more drinks in me over the coast of the evening but the gyal dem was hot and the music was deccent and yuh boi was going in. I mean a new club usually means new gyals and your boy was definatly sussin the vibes and the vibes was good. so good to the point that i broke my chain (well my Franchise Plate anyway) which was long over due. i mean i have a wifey now i need to retire that damn thing because "The Big Dutty Stinkin Gucci" is nothing but trouble. and also in the process i broke a zipper or my zipper just kept coming open but in any case, on to the jist of the juice. so at the end of the night after trying many attempts to leave the club me and a couple other people who shall remain nameless ended up lingering outside and slim dogg decided that it would be wise to accept a ride to the train from one of them. Now me, i know this was a bad idea from the get go because of previous outings i had with this individual. but in good ole buddy fashion: "wha eva slim dogg down wit I down wid it too" now while trying to seek out the seating arrangements of how all of us was going to fit in this car i was planning to jump in the back seat and then slim tell me to go to the front seat and on my way to the front seat i had to pass the driver side front seat in which the driver (female) was about to board. but I'm going to stop the story right there for a Young & Caribbean special announcement and story climax topic point. now in our culture we have people whom are known simply as pussy watch men. now a pussy watch man can be a very danger person for the mere fact that they tend to be always jealous coopful and and quick to jump to conclusions. if i said it once i said a million times. "No... Han... Cuffin... in the club, No... Han... Cuffin... in the club" "if yuh gurl gettin jam up...... Jam ah Next Thing..... Jam ah Next Thing..... If yuh gurl gettin grind up..... grind ah next thing.... grind ah next thing." because at the end of the day their is no wifey in the club deal with what ever the hell goes down that evening in the privacy of your own homes and to top it all off we should all know the rules by now "If She Don't Care, We Don't Care" doing any thing else about the matter especially on the scene where the is more than likely to be witnesses, security officials and probably even cops will only lead to you causing a scene and causing a scene can and will get you deported mark my words. Anyways I'm back to my story. so now I'm at the drivers side by the female driver about to make my way to the passenger seat and in the name of silly fun because i know the girl we been clubbing along time and she knows me. but anyways in the name of silly fun she was standing at the step of her vehicle facing me and i was standing facing the door. and my zipper was down so taking it back to the days of the south Florida wild boys i was like either take it out or zip it up or hold it or something like that. nothing serious just some thing for us to all joke about and probably to add content to this blog or my future book or what ever and nobody else would think anything, just be like oh franchise u crazy, because I'm crazy old franchise I'm known for doing crazy bullshit like that. any ways. two twos lata i see the gurl buss out "look she man back there" meen really think nuttin of it cause to tell you the truth i thought she was playing too cause meen even kno she had a man. But god damn it just like in Jurassic Park my eye glimpse the rear view mirror and the sign (objects in rear view mirror may be closer than they appear) and i see the man coming at me with a vicious speed. so i duck behind the open door now i on the sidewalk in front of the car and i see the man with the ability of A.J. Styles (now this is a big outta shape man who suddenly moving with the speed and flexibility of a X-Division Pro Wrestler)at at me with a flying forearm. i meen the shot miss me clean but it manage to knock my original pair of Franchise Frames off of my head (which i also take as a sign i need to retire cause i loose them)or they fell off with the speed i use to duck but in any case. after he miss the shot and he see i was intimidated he back up and start running towards he car. now without even thinking, the only thing my mind register was "Tool" so with a hop, skip, jump and a flash i was like "SLIM DOGG..... GETS TO RUNNIN" and i was out of there with out even looking back and into the some unknown projects (which could have been equally as dangerous but i was taking my chances.) But after its all said and down i wish i did look back because after everything was said and done. it turns out pana did have a "tool" alright, a lil shovel what construction people does use to mix mortar. But in the end I'm kind of glad that i ran because it shows that I'm growing up. because to stand and fight it out shovel vs. cane or shovel vs. big dutty stinkin gucci (which can be wielded as a weapon if i so desire)would of only caused a scene and as we all know as a mentioned above, a scene can and will get you deported and even if that wasnt the case thier of still been wounds that would have to heal or doctor bills to pay for and in the end. im too old and poor for that. i got better shit to do with my time and money like spending it with the new wifey. which reminds me. i should have never gotten in to this shit in the 1st place i aint single no more and even thou she knows about my wild side and what goes on with my charecter in these clubs, i personally feel i have to put a better effort forward to put her feelings and image into consideration.

Quote The Franchise

Never More

My New Girl Friend

This post is to answer Keva's Question. As everyone may or may not know They call me Mr. 511 for the mere fact that i have 511 (at the time, today that number has increased) female contacts in my phone, which as DJ 62 would say: makes me a certified Gyalis. but i just simply say I'm cool with a lot of females because I'm not a herb like most guys they know. so they tend to do things from time to time like take exotic pictures with me in it. now my real GF doesn't care what goes on on FB so i can post profile pics like what you see above. so to answer your question keva. Muffin nor anyone else you see in these pics are my girlfriend. Quote The Franchise Never More

Grown People Bidniss

wow i dont know even where to start this one. but this has to do with us as caribbean people involving we self in what i know describe as grown people business or as what granny use to say "trying to force ripe we self" as alot of you may know due to liver problem i have givien up on the boze and have been sober for over a year. but its to no common knowledge and by my own admission i am an alcholic and in the wise words of Slim Dogg Millionaire to people with my condition "its not how long you put the bottle down, its the damage you when you pick it back up". now i have been drinking since i was like 12 years old so i had manage to develop a heavy tolerance as well as many tricks along the way. drinking ppl under the table, downing a cold 12oz heinken in under 10 seconds, drinking champ 40oz division, blowing fire with 151 proof rum and so on and so on. but one trick i manage to learn in particular was that. in times of extreme drought (which used to happen often in my circle) or just low funds, I mastered a technique where i could get completly landblasted off of 1 beer. now even thou this trick came in handy in several cases my being sober for so long seems to have triggered it in a not so proper time. back to grown man bidness. now i know my limits because of my liver problem so when it comes to drinking i humble myself like a gril (champane, hypnotiq, nuvo and drinks of that sort. no more hennesy, clarks coat wray & nephew and that type of thing. and lord heavens no georgi, megatrons, contraptions, rass wholes or fuck ups. but since its my bithday weekend me and slim decided to splurge. dinner and red lobster where i ordered a whole bottle of whine. that is what start the downward spiral. now when i get tipsy its no secret that i does spend like a skunt. im suppose to be saving my my money for bills (lawd phone bill is like $538.87 this month) and diffrent parties i have to invest in ( my birthday bash and others) but after the lobster me and slim end up to natty dread party. now this jam was free to get into so i say leh we support the bar. and damn this is when i force ripe myself and went to trouble grown man business smh. slim went and order a baileys and check me looking at the bar and not wanting to be standing in the middle of the dance floor around my peers with a pink cup in my hand. i went and i ordered Johnny Walker. now anybody who knows boze knows thats an old man down by the corner store playing dominoes drink rite dey. and lord have mercy from the 1st sip my eyes open up. all i could was jezzus christmas. dat one drink lead to 6 more guiness and trust the after feeling wasnt nice. this was the friday. mind you all we inteded to do that night was go to serani album release party which as a dj i had an invite for. now saturday nite was suppose to be a quite nite to as well but as fate would have it it was my home girl mango's birthday party and i said i would come tru and dj for her. i stayed at work and made a party mix for her and told silm my plans. he at 1st wanted nothing to do with it and stay home. but i told him free food and drinks plus hot chicks and that kind of twist he arm. but lord was we in for a rude awaking. now mango as it turns out at one point in time had the title of my Jr. wifey cause she was young and i at my age couldnt take things to seriously. now i know a few of her frens who she clubs with and these are the ones i told slim about. but i had no idea of the rest of her frens lawd save my soul dem was younggggggggggggggggggg i had feel like such a phile in that dat basement. so what does grown men do when faced with overwheling odds not in our favor? we drink till we convince we self the odds is in we favor. worst mistake ever. long story short. i endup hitting on thing closest to my age in there which was mango's mom, almost had to take off my belt to clam a situation with what appears to be mango's young "real" boyfren. had sum weired girl put a braid in my beard and ended up sucking on a girls toes in the stair well smh. all of this i had to be reminded of cause lawd knowns meen remember a god damn thing. and if this wasnt the end of it. apprently i ended up in cholos for the antiguan day celebration ?????????? so as fate likes to repeat its self, slim dogg had to carry me to his house cause apprently i passed out and lost all our stuff including a pair of my franchise frames and you guessed it. spend ah shit load or more moneyyyyyyyy. now take my advice when i say this. that alchohol is one hell of a drug and that notthing good can ever come out of it other than a hell of a time that u would more than likly not remember. at the end of the day folks its not worth if you have to be reminded about your actions via twitter and face book.

quote the Franchise

Never More

woe is me im not the one to blame

Hmmmm she has a facebook page? I'm really out of the loop. Now me on the other hand. I ain't super popular but I'm popular enuff. I know she could of found me if she wanted to. Key words "wanted to" to tell you the truth I didn't even know her last name until the other day. But to be honest I shouldn't need a social network like facebook to see her child. Oh wait "I don't pick up my phone" well she could of text me. Had many phones even 3 @ a time at one point but at least one of dem numbers has always been my number for the past 5 years. She could have text me. Let the records show, that I called her twice in past couple of months. And even thou they were at random and for no reason at all, they were not answered and they were not returned. And now back to our regularly scheduled programing

First offical entry

now here is a heads up. from time to time in these blogs i would go into what is commonly known as the family guy peter griffen flash back which is basically a flash back that will seem like it has nothing to do with the story being told and the reason for this is because given the fact that im not as reckless as i used to be i might have to dig into my past to get the stupid factor across to let you know why you should not attempt whatever is being disscussed. for as i said in the begining, i have made almost all the mistakes already, so you dont have to lol. anyway. on to our 1st entery.

now this example of things not to do is so stupid that i dont even know what to call it but i hope one of you reading could find sum adjectives to describe what you are about to read. now its been a long while since i have used what is to be described only as the V.I "wha dah fuck i seeing here" stare. the last time i used that stare i was at the height of my status as a local celebrity on tola. now at this time i was at a basketball game and i was chilling at the bar. but being the franchise my chilling at the bar had to be to the extreme of anybody else who had ranks or fame at the time. so my black as was chilling inside the bar with the bartender away from all the other patrons. mind yuh i wasnt even working there and i was inside the bar because my fame allowed me to get away with such stupidness. so anyways half time came and the bar got croweded and im just behind there kicking it or what ever. so now people want thier drinks and this one kid all the way from across the room tried to be slick and ended up playing himself. now the real bartender is out of his reach dealing with customers at the other end of the bar. this kid keeps calling me trying to get me to serve him a drink even thou he sees me just sitting idle doing nothing but talking to the bartender which is getting other people outside the bar very pissed off. anyway at this time i had already been featued in so many forms of media that my government name was basically public knowledge. so this kid thought he could get my attention after calling me franchise so many times with me igoring him by calling me by my real name and then it happend! the "wha tha fuck i seeing here" face. now this facial gesure is usually followed by what we people in the V.I. call a "toast" which is like Nino in new jack city canceling that bich with the champange (a toast) or you bun dem so bad with words or "wroth dem up" that they end up feeling like (bun up toast) black and crispy on the outside and soft on the inside. now in this case after the kid call me by my government i did the face and i looked left and i looked right to see if anybody heard what i just heard and obviously they did because most people became quite and he the kid took this time to try and proceed with his drink order. ahmmm yeah, yeah franchise, let me have ahh. now at his time in fashion thats like a fusion between the rock and t.i i was like " boss, boss man, you migh see me on the t.v but nigga you dont know me" this caused the whole bar to get in an up roar with everybody laffing. and this poor lil kid talking the walk of shame. now tola people tend to be a very vicious ppl when it comes to this kind of thing because even if someone happen to not be paying attention and miss the embarssment tola ppl will start chants in unison of "he shame, he shame" to let everyone know that someone got toast.

now meen kno how this applies to the story im about to tell. only that the fact lastnite was the 1st time in a long time i had want to toast sumbody. im at the club lastnite and i seen a chick i was hollerin at that meen see in a longtime. well i seen she when i was at miami and she made a big deal about it on how "oh i pass she stright and act like meen kno her and how oh after she see my attidude was like fuck she, she was goin be like fuck me too den" now the truth of the matter is. and everybody knows that when i have my shades on (which is all the time) i dont see people unless they make somekind of gesture towards me so i can acknowlege dem and even at this point i does still dont know who people is sumtimes smh. so anyways i seen shortie in the club with a mutual fren. the club was kind of dry with gyals looks wise and me franchise like to be seen in the clubs with the hottest things dem,which at this point shortie did qualify. so i made a joke with slim dogg saying i going have to owe he $20 cause it looks like i goin have to wifey this thing in the club lol. so afta ah while i went over to say hi to te mutual fren and i jus watch the other girl. she like "wha i watching she fa" im like "so you can make sure i see you this time" we both laffed and i went about my business. now we all know it aint in my nature to wifey no chick in the club and if that ever happen (like back at the glaxay skate rink in miami) the chick got to be super onnnnnnnn or sumthing going down. and this nite was no diffrent than any other nite casue even thou shortie was on. she was by no ways onnnnnnnn. i mean shortie cant dance or betta yet she cant wuk up cause she aint a real island gurl (we goin to get into that in future post) and on top of that her ass is flat. but here are sumthings that played a factor to why as was around she for all that time she or we "fren" claim is was sweatin her. 1. this is not her type of club so i didnt want her to feel like she aint know nobody other than our fren. 2. i wanted she to have a good time and dance because she was not dancing with anybody else atallllllll. when next thing you look she tun off and bad mouth we club buh she aint had a good time cause nobody dance with yuh! not on my watch. anyways and 3. it had a couple bouts of fights and wildness going down and i just wanted her to feel safe like well atleast a man she know around her in case of anything. 4. she was conviently placed in the club where i was spending much of my time. so that if ah song i like come on i would jus go take ah whine. & 5. i felt bad about miami so i say im goin to pay she some attention cause we all kno, a woman love ah peice of attention. but look where the fuck the ong fong come en now. i gone go take ah whine by shortie and she aint really moving which kind of does happen cause she really aint got no rhythem and she really dont know all the songs so i never really pay that no mind. we fren goin come and tell me in my ear while i still stroking the thing. "if meen feel like i wifing up the thing ah lil too much" i look at she like "wtf. no. you aint see all these things in here i blazing!" now everybody and dem momma know i on a no wifey in the club campain. i even got a chune i about to release that speaks against the whole matter. and my fren knows this and she going still hit me this dumb fuck. she goin be like "well she only relaying the message" im like "the message" and i look at shortie all this time still stroking it "well if thats how she feel, why she just aint tell me that she self" my fren goin buss me "cause she aint want to hurt your feelings" and thats when "the look" came in to play. i was like wah kinda dumb retarded fuck i hearing here. im like "Well den you and she obviously dont know me that well. and i proceed to leave them alone for the remainder of the night by themself texting on thier phones or on fassbook or what ever all 3 and 4 in the morning. as i proceed to blaze every chick in and around there radius. now my thing is this. i been partying well over a decade now and if its one thing i know is, if a girl dont want to dance she dont want to dance. aint no big thing. i dance with couple gurl that night self who didnt want to dance. but the diffrence is. they was woman enuff to let me know it. i get everything from the, saying i dont want to dance, to the walk away to the not moving atall to the lil back elbow and even down to the return of the "wha the fuck i seeing here" face at me. that lets me know well, this gurl dont want to dance. and i would be like cool. im franchise it got plenty of gurls in this club who would love to dance with me. its like how gucci mane does say it "on to the next one, girls is like buses, miss 1 15 minutes later, next one coming. but to have a gurl tell anothor fren of mine, that she dont want to dance with me nomore rather than doing it yourslef is down rite retarded and i fell like i should ah toast she rite deh on the spot where she stood with no parshall. but thats old me. im not that young & caribbean anymore. i just want to know what yall would do or how yall would handle the situation. but here are some more facts to add to your judgement. when this chick meet me the 1st time i was in my debonaire mode lookin all spiffy and clean cut and shit. and that night i was doing the running cause it had some onnnnnnnnn chicks in the club that 1st time and i just had to get my do. last nite i was in my franchise taliban i dont give ah fuck its a recession look and maybe that was a turn off. i dont know cause she we was dancing all after this fact. or may be its fact 2. the last song we danced to at which point she was actually trying to dance back was Vybz Kartel ft. Gaza Indu - Breed Me to which i was singing the franchise dub version of that song in her ear. maybe it disturbed her to what the lyrics actually ment. maybe she was scared of what she thought my interntions for her was because of the song. i dont know. but all i do know is. she went about it all wrong and stupid and for that meen think its worth even wasting my time talking to she ever again. cause anybody who knows me knows if its one thing i hate with a passion. is to waste time. cause i miss so many good wuk to good songs i like with gyals who could do dem damn thing on a dance floor that night just so i could make shortie comfortable. and if she didnt want to dance she should of just said so, so i could of spend my whine and my time with people who desevre it. so in closing. ladies of the world. dont be young and caribbean by showing the immtureity of going tru a 3rd party to let someone know how you feel when you can be a woman and let that person know directly in any which way you choose. take my word for it. they would respect you ah whole much more.

quote the franchise "never more"

The Rules of Soca Hotsauce

1st rule of soca hotsauce you must talk about soca hotsauce

2nd rule of soca hotsauce....... YOU MUST TALK ABOUT SOCA HOTSAUCE!

3rd rule. what happens in the party stays in the party

4th rule. improper grammer is proper grammer.

5th rule. you will read things here that are offensive & hurtfull to others. but u must accept the humor and the life lessons learned as a trade off in exchage for what hard feelings you might uphold.

6th rule. do not try this at home. god only looks after children and fools. I am way too grown and you my friend on the other hand might not be as lucky or as fortunate as I have been. life has a disclaimer and it doesn't apply to me

7th rule. there are no wifey in the in clubs. if yuh gurl getting jam up. jam ah next thing. ladies if yuh looking for love the only thing you will find is broken champange bottles & shattered dreams.

8th rule. When it comes to gyals and this is the final rule. If She dont care: we dont care. which means for example and this is an unoffical new rule in its self. If yuh gurl gettin jam up. Jam ah next thing. don't be hater or pussy watch man. and same thing for the ladies. if yuh man getting grind up, jus grind ah next thing. don't be a cock blocker

I've been patiently wating to blow, ladies & gentlemen. welcome to The Franchise show

well its finally here. after years of loafing on the press I have finally decided to write a blog to track my many spelunking adventures. at this point I would like to thank some of the many people who made this tremendous step possible. my co host josey wales for staying on top of my loafing ways and always show interest in my weekend spelunking. the amazing cassi fox for her insperation and setting the trend with her old blogs. slick flair for constantly reminding me that we that commerical outlets will never be a home for us and we will always somehow or another find a way to get band. all the media outlets & establishments that have banned me in the past and will band me in the future. alan smithee for beliving in me and using his power and infulence to cover up shady tracks. and most of all you! the ppl the I encounter that make this living soap oprah the young and caribbean possible. and with that being said. let the freak show begin (warning! names of people, places & events might be changed to protect the guility. but I promise you that everything you read on these pages are 100% true and 100% hotsauce)